Andy Samberg’s hosting the MTV Movie Awards? Yes! I’m actually interested in a awards show now so here are my predictions.
The MTV Movie Awards are usually pretty cool, but this year they are the bomb dot com! Yeah I just dropped a ‘98 catch phrase piss off! But shit Samberg from SNL is hosting the MTV Movie Awards how the hell does this get by me till now?
I’m stoked and just set the DVR to see the epic show. Unlike the boring shit known as the Oscars the MTV Movie Awards have some badass categories and involve films that joe schmoe actually watches. Sorry I don’t watch films involving Kate Winselt having sex with 16 year olds in a Holocaust camp. Oh wait. I actually did see that, and it was kind of erotic. Hmmm…maybe the MTV Movie Awards aren’t as badass as I originally thought. Hey hold that thought now they are again because the new Twilight trailer, “New Moon” is gonna be shown at the Awards show. My god I just jizzed myself.
My predicted winners for this year’s MTV Movie Awards
LINK to the entire list of Nominees
Best Movie
The Dark Knight
I really don’t know how this movie was snubbed from the actual Oscars. This movie was amazing. I honestly don’t see how it can’t win. I was surprised to see High School Musical 3 as one of the nominees. Your telling me thats a better movie than Step Brothers? YOUR FUCKIN HIGH!
Best Female Performance
Angelina Jolie, Wanted
Jolie shows her ass in this movie. It was ASS-tastic and I ‘WANTED’ more. Anne Hatheway is a fucktart who doesn’t belong for her piss poor in “Bride Wars” which is one of the worst films I have seen this year.
My runner-up to Jolie was Winslet’s role in The Reader. Yeah that one where she’s gettin it on with a 16 year-old kid.
Best Male Performance
Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man
Downey’s performance in Iron Man was a comeback of sorts from all the shit he had been through recently and he was the perfect Tony Stark. Iron Man was a great great movie. Can’t wait for #2 next year.
The dude that didn’t belong as a nominee was Zac Efron. I swear to god if I see him starring in another film I will honestly choke a old old woman who is ringing up tickets at a box office. That’s how much I hate that doucher.
Breakthrough Performance Female
Kat Dennings, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist
In a landslide Dennings was my clear cut winner over bitches Ashley Tisdale and Miley Cyrus. Freida Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire is deserving but her role wasn’t anything impressive in that movie, and she was an undecisive S.O.B. in that movie. Hand it to Kat, and she’s sexy as hell which doesn’t hurt matters. Hell I follow her on Twitter so yeah kudos to me!
Breakthrough Performance Male
Bobb’e J. Thompson, Role Models
If “Edward” from Twlight gets this over Bobb’e J. its simply because all these damn teenie boppers rigged the voting and voted every god damn day. Kinda like Kris Allen winning Idol. But Bobb’e J. was amazing in Role Models and held his own with Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd. One thing I worry with this kid is that he will have the Gary Coleman/Webster effect. When he gets older he won’t have that cute appeal anymore. He better bank on his glory now.
Best Comedic Performances
James Franco, Pineapple Express *by default
Wow what pathetic options for the best comedic performances. How bout Paul Rudd in Role Models? Will Ferrell or John C. Reilly in Step Brothers? Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder? Seth Rogen in Zack & Miri Make a Porno? Instead were stuck with Amy Poehler from Baby Mama. Lame. Anna Faris in The House Bunny. Meh. Jim Carrey from Yes Man. Soooo 1997. Steve Carell in Get Smart. Blah. Then finally James Franco in Pineapple Express which is probably the worst Apatow production yet. Failed to live up to expectations.
Another idea for best comedic performance would be Danny McBride in The Foot Fist Way. C’mon MTV!
Best Villain
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Epic performance of the famed Joker, and completely brought a whole new dimension to comic book films. Amazing role.
Best Kiss
James Franco and Sean Penn, Milk
These two outstanding actors kissing at numerous times in the movie is really interesting and has some shock value because you don’t usually see that with such main-stream actors. Give it to em.
Best Fight
Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
When Batman and the Joker were in the same scenes together it was terrific, and you were on the edge of your seat wondering what would happen next. Amazing stuff on film.
Best WTF Moment
Naked Break Up (Jason Segel and Kristen Bell), Forgetting Sarah Marshall
You know its a WTF moment when you remember exactly how you reacted in the theater when you saw it. I erupted in laughter and was ready to give Segel a standing O for not only showing his junk but for how well kept they were. I have since taken notes haha.
Best Song From a Movie
“Decode” by Paramore, Twilight
Paramore is always putting out good shit and Hayley Williams is sexy as hell. Because of her I want to invent a sex move called “Paramore” don’t know what it would consist of but let’s just say it would be FILTHAY.
