“Tik Tok” here’s my Cock

Where can I get those shades you crazy bitch?

Have you heard that kinda catchy song “Tik Tok” recently?  I’m assuming most of you haven’t; probably because you probably googled something along the lines of “funny catchphrases to say while fucking” you then saw Tik Tok here’s my Cock and thought that was witty so you clicked and were expecting more well nada.  Rather than reading sexual lines your going to listen to a sexual song…at least I like to think its sexual.

So what do you think? You probably didn’t listen did you? Okay lets discuss if you would bang Kesha.

Thats her name afterall. I’m gonna be in the group that says, “Yeah I would” Why? Because 1) shes a singer. So maybe she can sing me something while taking her from behind. 2) She’s got a trashy look that we here at the Jellydonut ALWAYS love!

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UPDATE: WAIT PEOPLE!!!!! Before you go any farther and think about looking up pics on Kesha on Google…we might be examining the wrong person. IS KESHA A DUDE!?!?!?!?!

In 140 characters or less tell me what you would do to this summer trim?

“What Would You Do To…:” Savannah Gold edition

The Britts sure know how to have doggy style sex.

We stay in the UK for this next installment of the “What Would You Do To…” features. Last time it was Jennifer Ellison who we discussed that was from England; this time it’s Savannah Gold. Your probably wondering who she is. Well….she’s a pornographic star. Now don’t be alarmed were not going to be a porn site here but we couldn’t resist discussing the anatomy of this top heavy brittish delight.

First off if I had the chance to be with Gold this is where we would be….on a  trampoline a bouncy one that can hold a lot of weight and we would fuck hardcore and she could dominate me and tell me what to do.  It would be outstanding.  I would probably perform the TONY DANZA as well on her just to feel like a total badass.

When I saw this woman’s video on bigtitsroundasses.com I was amazed and proceeded to have wood. It was awesome! While me and Gold are fucking on a trampoline there is definitely a camcorder involved and the video would probably end up on Pornotube.com so you all could see and hell I would probably even post here on the site just so you loyal readers could see my “unit.”

I went to the end of the rainbow and found my imaginary pot of GOLD!

Here’s a totally uncensored photo gallery of Gold, that may I add will get you fired at work if your viewing this from there. So don’t click on it otherwise! It is Not Safe For Work and don’t click if your under 18 unless of course your like the 13 year-old version of me and don’t give a shit about those warnings and still click it anyway.

“What Would You Do To…:” Jennifer Ellison edition

Me and J-Bone were trying to think up a chick for the next “What Would You Do To…” feature, and we wanted to go with someone who isn’t as well known as the others we have been doing in the past. So today, we give you this ravishing Brittish delight. She puts the cream on the Strawberry and Cream breakfast that is notorious in England, so I’ve been told.

Anywho her name is Jennifer Ellison. We did some research on her in our blogging labs a.k.a. our apartment. Anyways, nothing well-known or anything cool came up in her line of acting. So basically she hasn’t done anything good except her spreads in Maxim which are bomb-ass. It will make you blow any load in less than a minute and a half. GUARANTEED my whiskered friends!

So from looking at this picture that we have posted for your personal use, it makes me feel warm inside. You know that feeling after eating a bowl of chicken soup, Campbell’s that is and your all warm inside that’s the kind of feeling she gives me. And she is “MMMMMMMM….Good” like the soup I mentioned.

If I were given the opportunity to felay-sh this woman I would show an utmost respect to her country. By banging her in the grand ‘ol Big Ben tower. Doggy of course. (BARKING NOISES) Then to top it all off with my willy wanker’s semen in her mouth. If I knew the national anthem in England I would sing it proudly after banging this woman, for I would consider turning over my American status to become a Britt. Three to cheers to you Jennifer Ellison! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!!!! M-Town, is Brittain’s newest citizen and damned if I be ashamed of it. So in honor of my new land I wanna thank all Americans for saving us in World War II for it wasn’t for you guys my passionate cries of lovemaking with Ms. Ellison wouldn’t have happened. Thank You! And God Bless England!

[NOTE]: I’m not actually a Britt. But wouldn’t you consider being a Britt if you had the chance to have passionate love making sessions with this woman? I will leave that up to you. CHEERIO!

J-Bone’s Thought:
I would definitely consider changing nationalities to bang this beautiful brit. this is the type of woman i would take out for a nice, alcohol filled, night on the town. not too much though. just enough to tip the scales in my favor. Besides, who could resist taking this little prize out on the town to show her off to all your buddies. You know the drill, grab some ass kiss her on the neck playfully till your buds get sick of it. Then when all is said and done, it’s back to my place for an international romp in the bedsheets.

Of course it starts with the foreplay. A little rubbing in the right places and the engines are reved! I say start out with her on top. Let her get her groove on till she’s all fired up. Then it’s every goddamn position you feel like doing. No holding back with this one. she’s a one time deal and time is limited. All in all, I’d say she’d be one of the best you’ve ever had and you’ll never forget it. Sex will never quite live up to that night you “comforted” the british beauty!
M-towns rating: 8.5
J-bones rating: 9.5 The accent adds a number. I do love the brits!
overall rating: 9.0 you guessed it you math genius you

Let’s hear your rants and raves on this one! don’t hold back!

[UPDATE] Hey this is M-Town again. Hey I got thinking as I looked at this picture more closely I need to give this woman a 9.5. So yeah I’m totally diggin this broad. YUMMAY!!!

“What Would You Do To…:” Erin Andrews edition

With football season getting underway this next editon of “What Would You Do To:” is a hot-ass sideline reporter who makes us want to suffer severe injuries just so she can come interview us and get an update. I’m talking about ESPN’s own Erin Andrews.

Erin who was a former dancer at the University of Florida has raised the bar in terms of forcing television stations to hire women who are easy on the eyes. No Holly Rowe’s….thank you.

Listening to Erin during the “Who’s Now” feature on SportsCenter was boring and gave me little to get excited about but yet I still watched. The days she wasn’t on the panel I was not happy and didn’t watch. I wasn’t interested in seeing Keyshawn Johnson and Kirk Herbstreit, yadda yadda yadda.

If I was lucky enough to have sexy time with Andrews I would feel like the coolest sports fan around. What’s cool about her is that you could get an injury update on your favorite team while bangin’ the life out of her. Not many chicks can give ya that. Orgasms? Sure. But injury reports on your favorite college football team? Not in a lifetime. That’s why we love you Erin.

From a 1 to 10 how bad I wanna do the naughty with her? 10

“What Would You Do To…:” Superbad Girls edition

I’m not going to type up a movie review about the instant-classic, Superbad. You read enough of those. But what I’m going to do is analyze the women these three superbad nerds hook up with. (Just for the record all these girls are over 18 so we can discuss the thought of doing the naughty with them). So we bring you a special 3-chick edition of the “What Would You Do To” feature. Enjoy!! And for the record you gotta see “Superbad” it is an all-time classic. I have already seen it three times and it gets better everytime. So while reading this rock out with your cock out!

Seth’s Girl: Jules (a.k.a. Emma Stone)

She goes by “Jules” in the movie and dammit I want her to lick my family Jewels. She kind of sounds like a man at times and doesn’t have much of a booty but she has that down to earth kind of feel to her. She also hooked up with Seth who is a bigger guy and I’m a big dude so I feel like I could score with this pearly stone. Another thing we like about she scratches your back and as we all know our backs are located on our cocks. In 2008, Stone is in a movie about some Playboy chick we will definitely be attending.

How bad I wanna do the naughty with her? 7

Evan’s girl: Becca (a.k.a. Martha MacIsaac)

The chick on the right is the one we are talking about. Not the dude. We don’t roll like that….No offense

She’s that little innocent girl down the street who never does anything wrong and get a few drinks in her and she wants the cock. I’m talking about that innocent little Becca girl. She’s not usually my type of girl and come to find out she’s 23 years old so she’s a perfect age for me considering I’m 19. But yeah she’s got nice boobies that she points out to Evan in her Pink bra. That little bastard didn’t get the hints and was more worried about his vintage jacket. If I would of been in that scene you would have seen XXX magic. I’m talking about hardcore doggie!

How bad do I wanna do the naughty with her? 8

Fogul’s girl: Nicola (a.k.a. Aviva)

Yao, Ichiro, and now Aviva, the people with only one name. But unlike the other two mentioned Aviva isn’t Asian and we wanna bang her. I couldn’t find a photo of her. But she is the red-head in the movie who is makin out with Fogul a.k.a. McLovin. Nicola as she goes by in the movie is struttin around in g-strings and Fogul tells her what time it is. Reminds me alot of my days in high school . When she was with Fogul you see her in a blue bra and her big ‘ol ass is stickin out for all to see. I envied that little diminuitive Fogul in that instance. What a lucky man to be handlin that booty. JENGA!!!!

How bad I wanna do the naughty with her? 8.5

So there you have it. The woman I wanna do the most from Superbad is the red head. But hell I would love to have all 3 of em at one time. That would be “The Bomb dot com” remember that? Do people still say that? If not let’s bring that shit back! Anywho which would you want to Felay-sh you? Tell us now!

“What Would You Do To…:” Marissa Miller edition

I was on CNNSI today reading up on College Football and the NFL when I see the link to the Swimsuit 2007. Surprisingly I hadn’t really seen this year’s swimsuit issue. It used to be an exciting time when that issue would come out when I was in 7th or 8th grade but now its just meh. But…..the women are still amazing. Most notably Marissa Miller.

This surfer chick from the beaches of California is hot in many ways. You look at here and I could honestly picture myself watching a football game with this sporty chick. Then afterwards we could do a little “Touchdown celebration” if you know what I mean. *nudge nudge*

This is the third installment of the “What Would You do to…” features and I must say that Marissa wins the battle with the best body. Toned, athletic, curvy, and a delightful rack give Ms. Milller our vote for the best body thus far. She motivates me to actually go to a gym once in a while haha.

But if I was able to make love with Marissa Miller I would definitely wanna film it because she is used to being in front of a camera so there should be no problem. Then I could make millions selling it on eBay. And you the Jellydonut readers could see my massive schlong. lol

So tell me what is your feelings towards this Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret goddess? Oh and by the way here is a video of Miller with Heidi Klum modeling lingerie for the always awesome Victoria’s Secret. Somebody give me an oxygen tank!!!

Video of Marissa Miller and Heidi Klum

[UPDATE]:  Almost forgot the most critical part…From a 1 to 10 how bad do I wanna do the naughty with her?  9

“What Would You Do To…:” Jessica Biel edition

Yet again I’m bored here at work so I’m turning to my blog for some entertainment, and its a doozy of a topic. One that will make you get a little giddy…..in your pants that is.

Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel. My god I love just saying her name. The thought of making woopee with Ms. Biel gets me as excited as if its actually going to happen. Boning this fine broad would make any red blooded american male’s life complete.

She has recently been seen in “I now Pronounce you Chuck & Larry,” starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James. She gets wet in the movie. No not that kind of wet you naughty children but wet as in raindrops falling on her head wet. Because she’s wet she takes off clothes down to her bra and undies showing Adam Sandler that her boobs are in fact real. And sweet jebus we believe her and wanna see the fun bags.

Biel looks the type of chick who is a girl next door but she seems like a woman who could be a reel freak in the bed. I would wanna do the most provacative positions with this woman and simply pound the life out of her. Then finish it all off by pulling out a cup of coffee and snuggling. That my friends who would be outta sight!

So plain and simple Jessica Biel is a stone cold fox who has real boobies and she wants the world to know it dammit!

From a 1 to 10 how bad do I wanna do the naughty with her? 9.5

Fox and Biel are our favorites at this time. Both are inseperable and bonerlicious.

“What would you do to…:” Megan Fox edition

AUTO BOTS…..ROLL OUT YOUR WEINERS FOR MEGAN FOX!

One of the main reasons I saw Transformers twice was because of this 20-year old “Fox”. Fox like her role in Transformers looks a rebellious chick and one who would be a freak in the bed. She’s got amazing sex appeal and a body that is tight as hell. Alan Harper sure couldn’t help himself….lucky bastard.If I was with Fox I would definitely wanna do our passionate cries of love making out in public to show how lucky of a bastard I am or in that Chevy Camaro whatever works. No Alabama Hot Pocket’s though that’s for sure.  But I sure could think of many things I would do with her.  She is our favorite celeb right now.   Megan Fox if you ever read this, give me a chance you wouldn’t regret it.  I am out!

From a 1 to 10 how bad I wanna do the naughty with her?  9.5